Its about making memories worth repressing
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
