So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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