garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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