Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
