Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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