I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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