so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You ruined the universe
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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