doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
