dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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