I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
