weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
