I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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