i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
either way he was missing a nipple.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
