I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
