My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
