we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
