Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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