That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
