How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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