There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
