Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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