Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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