hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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