why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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