I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
