Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
