Ambien. No doubt about it.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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