so that wasnt chicken after all
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
