It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
