do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
