Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
