drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
