sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
