I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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