A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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