and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I would ride that face into the sunset
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