allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
