Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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