I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
