Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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