Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
