the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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