absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
