i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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