Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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