We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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