dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
