I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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