Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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