she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
