We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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