Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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