i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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