Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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