You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
