Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize