Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
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Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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