So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
