I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
