I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
