Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
