i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You smell like stripper and shame
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
