what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
