He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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