My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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