well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
