You can't special order awesome
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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