Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
