i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
