So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
